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Making up jokes about Auburn is kinda rude. Don't you think they already have it bad enough?
This post was edited by lowetide 20 months ago
How does an Auburn student count to 10?
0-1 0-2 0-3 0-4 0-5 0-6 0-7 0-8 0-9 0-10
Auburn, AL (AP) - A seven-year-old boy was at the center of a Lee County Courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him. The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with child custody law and regulations requiring that family unity be maintained to the degree possible. The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. When the Judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried out that they also beat him. After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the Judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him. After two recesses to check legal references and confer with child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the Auburn University football team, whom the boy firmly believes, at this time, is not capable of beating anyone.
Chicken Dinner right here folks! My sides are still hurting! RTR!!!!
You know the difference between an Auburn funeral and a regular funeral? At an Auburn funeral, the head tractor has its lights on. LOL
One day in an elementary school in Opelika, AL, a teacher asks her class if the Auburn Tigers are their favorite football team. The whole class says yes except for Little Jimmy.
The teacher asks, "What's your favorite football team Jimmy?"
Little Jimmy says, "Alabama Crimson Tide."
The teacher asks, "Well, why is that?"
Little Jimmy says, "Well, my dad is an Alabama fan, my mom is an Alabama fan, I guess that makes me an Alabama fan."
The teacher angered by his reply says, "Well, if your dad was a moron and your mom was an idiot, what would that make you?"
Little Jimmy says, "Well, I guess that would make me an Auburn fan."
An AU family sent their son off to school on the plains.After several weeks of calling home with no answer the boy begins to worry,he sends letters and telegrams but still no reply.Then on Thanksgiving his parents suddenly show up at his dorm.He ask where have y'all been I've been so worried,His mom replied"well your daddy read in the paper where 90% of all car accidents happen with in 5 miles of the house so we moved.
Two Auburn students were assigned to complete a thesis on the meaning of "logic'.
the problem was, neither knew what it meant.
So, one of the students told the other that he had a friend going to the University of Alabama and that he was sure his friend could help them understand.
He calls up the Alabama student and asked if he could define logic for him.
The Alabama student replied, "sure I can help, but it's kinda complicated and may take some time, so bear with me."
The Alabama student then asked the Auburn student, do you have a weed eater?
Aub- replied, yes i have a weed eater, what's that got to do with Logic?
Alabama replied, bear with me, i told you it was complicated.
Bama student said, if you have a weed eater, you probably have a yard?
Aub: yes, i have a yard.
Bama; if you have a yard, you probably have a house?
Aub: yes, i have a house.
Bama: if you have a house, you probably have a wife?
Aub; yes, i have a wife?
Bama: if you have a wife,, your probably heterosexual?
Aub: (offended)yes, i'm certainly heterosexual.
Bama: well, that's logic.
So the Aub goes back to his buddy and the buddy ask, Was your friend able to tell you the meaning of logic for us?
Aub: yes, but it's kinda complicated and may take some time.
Aub: To buddy, do you have a weed eater?
Aub:(horrified) you queer ain't you!
Pure Gold!! +1
Why can't Gene Chizik use the internet?
He can't string 3 W's together.
My best friend graduated from Auburn with an Electrical Engineering degree. He now knows of this joke. I'm sure he doesn't get it.
Question: What do you call an Auburn fan with a sheep and a goat?
You're probably an Auburn fan if ...
... You can play the Auburn fight song using your armpit.
... Your wife's idea of cleaning house is throwing everything out into the yard.
... The Roto-Rooter man stops by your trailer and asks, "What's that smell?"
... You're a member of the Skoal Frequent Purchaser Program.
... You looked up your family tree and your uncle spit on you.
... You joined Alcoholics Anonymous so you can drink and use a different name.
... You looked out for #1 and stepped in #2 !!!
... You won't buy a Japanese car because you're afraid you won't understand what they say on the radio.
... Your kids go to a private school and they won't tell you where it is.
... Your Granny beats you in the tobacky spittin' contests.
An Alabama fan was driving down a country road when he came upon two Auburn football players hitchiking. He told the Auburn players to jump in the back of his pick-up truck. He then drove down the dirt road rather fast and lost control of the truck as they were going around a curve. The truck landed in a lake. The Alabama fan scrambled to the surface and swam to the bank. When he looked back at the lake, the two Auburn football players were still sitting in the bed of the truck looking frantic. As the truck began sinking the Bama fan yelled for the Auburn players to get out truck, to which they replied, "We're tryin' to get out, but we can't get the dang tailgate open!"
Two Auburn fans have been walking in the woods for eight hours when they stop and one turns to the other and says, "I'm cutting the next Christmas tree we find, lights or no lights."
What's the best road sign in Auburn?
Tuscaloosa - 120 miles
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