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Because He knew that the Southeastern Conference would need a doormat in all revenue-generating sports that actually matter. Because He knew that Alabama would need someone across the state who could always lift their spirits and self-esteem, by comparison, no matter how dark the days.
Because without the losers in the world, there are no winners.....
God made a Barner.
Because social justice is often deemed necessary in these dark times.
Because there are high school athletes out there without iPads, Escalades, and folding money.
Because around the first of February, each and every year, wealth should be redistributed to those less fortunate through steaks, hookers and occasionally, weed.
A Barner complains about other folks' championships, while knowing full well their only 2 titles came during seasons when they were on probation or paying their mercenary quarterback $180,000.
Because the world needs hypocrisy.....
Because doo-rags aren't only for black folks.
A Barner leads a tough, frontier life. A Barner wakes up at 10 a.m., feeds their 14 housecats, and watches Maury. Then, if a Barner feels like it, they catch the bus to McDonald's to work a double-shift.
Because the world needs Big Macs....
God made a Barner.
Because He knew that ultimately, there may be an excessive supply of toilet paper in the world, He allowed a ridiculously impractical use of the product to be conceived.
Because the azzes in Lee County get extra dirty and chapped...and the good people at Charmin need the work....
Because of the thousands of individuals around the South employed by bail bondsmen, local law enforcement, legal defense agencies, and the criminal justice system at large....
Because He really does have a sense of humor....
That is creative and funny! Thanks
This post was edited by Fast Eddie2 on 2/4/2013 at 8:48 AM
Brought a tear to my eye. +1
Hilarious, nicely done sir.
Now this is funny! Well done NashTide
Awesome. I love the bit about the dorags.
And open so the Barners can read! Lol!
You'll never achieve great things until you believe that's what's supposed to happen
Quality stuff Nash, +1
Well done sir...+1
"The (All In) Family"
Post of the Year IMO
+1 Well done especially if you read it in the Paul Harvey voice
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