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Pachyderm is really trying to help you out here Nick with some very solid advice. As awesome as we think it would be, if you attend the Barn, a HOW TO speech about Bama isn't going to win you any points. As Pach suggested, your professor might slam you a quick zero based on you forgetting the biggest rule of thumb in all speeches, "KNOW YOUR AUDIENCE". If the post was meant simply to be funny, sweet, most of us laughed (I know I did). If you're serious, stick to some gardening or lawncare topic they'll understand. Hell, if you really wanna wow em, a proper "HOW TO KEEP YOUR TRAILER CLEAN" speech might be in order ;-)
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